A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Rabbi Herb Brockman from Congregation Mishkan Israel in Hamden. As the winter months were approaching, he met with other members of the Interfaith Cooperative Ministries to discuss the homeless situation in New Haven. The coalition, consisting of 41 churches, synagogues and mosques, recruited 19 congregations to create Abraham’s Tent, where for 12 weeks they will host and provide food and a home for homeless men. To hear Herb tell the story of how this came about brought tears to my eyes. He said “we have to do this; we have to find a way to make this work”. I still get chills thinking about it and remember how his enthusiasm was contagious and heart warming.

 
 
The coalition partnered with Columbus House who chose 12 residents to participate in this endeavor. Because the effort is run by volunteers that do not have a lot of experience, they picked residents that they’ve had a chance to get to know and thought would be able to handle the changes involved. Herb received an overwhelming response from members of his congregation who wanted to come out and cook and stay for a night to support the program. I too was curious and luckily, because of my position with United Way, had the opportunity to spend a Sunday evening with the men and the other volunteers. I was there to facilitate a video shoot and interviews we did for Neighbor-to-Neighbor LifeLine, but since standing around is not my forte, I found myself cutting up potatoes and bringing the food out along with the volunteers.
 
The auditorium was set up like a living room with a huge flat-screen tv with couches and chairs around it, a Foosball table and a few tables and chairs for eating and playing cards and board games. In an adjacent room were 10 cots, neatly made up with a blanket and a pillow, lined up five on each side against the wall. My first thought was that it looked cold like a large hospital room, but soon after the men arrived, it looked warmer with backpacks on the floor, a coat or extra blanket on the cot and a pair of shoe’s here and there, more lived-in, but not anything like how my 15 year old sons room looks most of the time.
When the guys first arrived, they settled in comfortably with the volunteers on the couch to watch the game or at a table getting some soda and chatting while waiting for dinner. This was the end of their first week of their 12 week journey and they seemed comfortable in their surroundings. To me, there was no real distinction between the volunteers and the guests. They looked like anyone you’d meet on the street or see walking around in a mall or at a grocery store. One guy in particular, Walter, reminded me so much of my brother Pete, in both looks and mannerism as he sat by himself at a table writing in a notebook. I went over to sit with him and, to break the ice, I asked him if he’d like to play cards. We quickly came to the conclusion that neither one of us really knew any good card games, so we just sat and talked. He talked about how he enjoyed the piece of quiet and the break of the craziness at the over-crowded shelter. He told me how he and his brother lived with his grandmother years ago right down the street and how he and Rabbi Brockman discovered that they were in basic training at the same time during Vietnam War.
Within minutes, it felt like we were old friends catching up. Just listening to him talk about how he got there and about his life reminded again of my brother. He too struggled with some of the same demons and hard-times in his short-lived life. In fact, he spent some time at Columbus House many years ago when he was living on the streets. My brother Pete had it all; a beautiful house, a wife and daughter and a career in the restaurant business and as a recruiter for 20 or so years. After getting divorced and losing his job, he turned to alcohol to ease the pain. It was a very bad time for him and he was too proud (and stubborn) to get the help he needed and continued down this path for many years and caused my parents and siblings a lot of pain and suffering Eventually, with support of our family and the many programs he participated in, he got the help he needed by doing the work that was required of him. It took about 6 or 7 years to finally get there, but he did it. He got a job and an apartment, he was staying sober and, most importantly, he was happy again.
Three years ago, at the age of 48, Pete died in a tragic accident. He was walking home from work at dusk and got hit by a pickup truck. The untimely death of a son, a sibling or a friend is probably the most traumatic event in someone’s life. There’s nothing you can do but mourn the loss and cherish the memories. I think about him all the time. On that cold night in Hamden, I just couldn’t help but think that he and Walter would’ve been friends. This is probably what drew me to him immediately. You see, Walter could be anybody. He could be your brother, father or uncle. He could’ve been your neighbor or even your friend at one time. You just never know. Unfortunately, for Walter and many of the homeless men and women finding themselves in the food line and standing in the cold waiting to see if there’s room at the shelter, this is reality. This is their day-to-day life and what many people don’t know is that they really hate it. They don’t want to be like this forever, they are trying to get a job and a home and a normal life.
There are many opportunities available to them through the variety of non-profit organizations, but, like everything else, the need is high and the resources are getting tapped out. This is the time to help. This is the time to be a good neighbor.